Friday, June 3, 2011

Drive...just Drive

The one thing I LOVE about Oregon is I can go from the ocean (coast) to the mountians to the desert in one day...OK a long drive but it can be done!

While on my recent trip I found myself so facinated by the different terrain and the change in weather and the trees and landscaping....I felt I could drive..just drive for hours..ok I did!

This was a drive to remember and find the lost pieces but to also take in all that surrounds me and the beauty of my journey.

I experienced memories and feeling of the sorrow and mourning of losing Bill, the pain and anguish of a divorce and DV relationship...yet the birth of my children, the gift of beautiful friendships and relationships, my strength and belief in God and the true future that lays ahead of me so full of new beginnings was overwhelming...yet I never want to forget where I have been or what I have gone thru. I found it was time to release the pain and feelings of being trapped in sorrow and fear....I needed to start living! The one true jem that Bill left me was my strength and my goodness..he believed in me..and I was beginning to believe in me.

Pain and fear have a great hold on us...yet they limit us and stunt us in growth...I miss Bill every day with all my heart and soul but I cherish all he gave to me and stood by me. We made me promise to never stop living, laughing or being me..somehow that has been set aside as I have grieved and filled with sorrow. We had many talked on my trek across Oregon and I listened to that talk of how he admired me and was amazed at all I had given him and how he had never been "in love" until he met is time to LOVE you..time to take all you know and all you are and live...this is a journey..

Ohhh look for a Giveaway on Monday! I am attending the Festival of Art this weekend and will find a goodie to share!

1 comment:

Lisa G. said...

Inspirational post, Steph. I sometimes feel it's hard to move on from all the painful things in the past, because they make us who we are just as much as the good things. But as long as we acknowledge them, we can look and move forward, like you are doing.

I love Oregon too-- because of the trees! :)