Thursday, April 28, 2011

A NEw Me a NEw Start


So 10 days away from 60 days..ok that makes today Day 50...and I am down 25 lbs. But it isnt just the weight loss it is the journey I have started.

It isnt a control issue with my Mom, a struggle with my parents divorce, a comfort after divorcing a domestic violence marriage, a frustration with my kids or sorrow after losing Bill...it is food, a needed resource for survival, but a unhealthy comfort that has had its own super power on me..because I let it

So now I control the food...when I am sad, frustrated, angry or empty I get to make the choice..healthy or give in...I took Easter Day off and jumped off the wagon to eat as I wanted..then Monday came and i woke up with the thought Ohhh just one more day off plan and I will order that Egg McMuffin and eat pizza...I will go back on plan tomorrow...WHAT WAS I THINKING...Hello I had given my self control and I was losing grip..one day can so easily became 2 or 3 or 5...NO..get up fix your MF oatmeal..YOU are worth it!! I did and I am worth it...but it isnt a diet it is a lifestyle change...I am going to have off days but I am in control so turn those around quickly and restart...

Having this Super Power is amazing...for most of my life food has been a battle for all the things listed above..but I have used it to fill the empty holes, comfort the sorrow and hurt and let it control me...now where did I lay down my magic lasso and park the invisible plane...