Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Toby the Wonder Dog

Toby...has left this world to join Bill..he wandered off to pass on his own..and I feel such a loss that makes my heart ache and tears flow. I feel lost when I get up to go fill his bowl and brush him...the back patio/yard looks empty..with each neighbors dogs bark I listen to hear his..old and grumpy but there...and it is silent.

Toby became a member of our family in 1997..hand picked carefully from a large cardboard box placed carefully in front of Safeway in Burns, OR and being given away by 3 young boys...Really Mister you need a puppy..your kids would have so much fun. Please give a puppy a home...So while Bill sent me in for food, a bowl and a collar and leash..he carefully held and watched each pup...and the little boy pup who wanted to be held but still showed he was a brute..caught our hearts..and now he was a member of a family with its own 3 young boys..."Boys need a dog...our family needs a dog" Bill told me.."No convincing needed" I said

He would spend weekends fishing, hunting, climbing and running thru the woods. He loved to go shooting and rock hunting. One of the best thundereggs we found was dug up by Toby and proudly given to me as i told him Thank you...he was a "go" dog..

He loved us all so and guarded me with the love and trust Bill gave him to take care of me when I was home alone or sick and in bed...he never left my side..yet Bill was his true master and the one who made Toby bark with excitement and dance around until each night Bill would go out and talk to him and rub his head.

Toby spent many hours sitting with the boys listening to their joys and sorrows, being dressed in Nicks clothes, learning new tricks and occasionally he would wander to the grade school to wait by Cory's classroom door..he just wanted to be apart of whatever we were doing.

When Bill passed away we arrived home from the hospital to hear Toby crying the most heart wrenching noise..crying for his master who had left us..just as we were all crying tears of loss he was also feeling our pain. He adjusted to the move but missed his large yard, raccoon hunting and chasing apples the boys threw for him. Cory took Toby to college with him and we still took him camping and for walks...but we all felt so lost without Bill and adjusting was hard...Toby always greeted us with wagging tail and big grins even when he was getting to old to go for walks or jump up ad down..he was still with us..a part of our family..

I lost so much March 3rd, 2007 but I had by kids and Toby..regardless of what we lost or the changes we had to make I still had the "boys" and I felt I had such a large part of Bill in Toby..he protected us, let us know when something wasn't right and made me feel safe...

The last few months have been tough to see Toby lose more strength and his bark not as sharp as it once was...his muzzle becoming almost white and while brushing him he would sigh so deep I knew our time was ending...I just didn't realize the huge impact it would have on me..I kept telling him to hang on..Mom just didn't know if she had the strength to watch him go or carry him into the vet..I didn't want this day to ever come to be..but I didn't want him to suffer and so holding his now old and weary face as I brushed him I told him it was ok..I would be ok and I loved him dearly he was one of my "kids" and just to go peacefully..with all my love in his soul and heart...later that day he walked into the woods behind our house and found his was to Bill and to peace and rest...

but my soul and heart ache..the pain is great and I realized that this was the first pet in my adult life that had passed away and the first pet I had to console my children over for the loss they felt...Toby was almost 8 weeks shy of being 14 yrs old..he by far past the 10-12 yrs life expectancy but what I would give for 14 more years of Toby...Run lil black guy with 4 legs and a and love free...for now I hurt and cry but forever I will love you and be thankful for all you gave to us

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is December 24th.

Christmas in most homes begins on the evening of December 24th, where excited young children are encouraged to go to bed early so as not to miss out on gifts from Santa Claus.

Christmas Eve in the United States is a combination of a lot of traditions. Some families open presents Christmas Eve night, many go to church, or have different dinners, like ham, goose, etc.

Traditions in other parts of the world include;

The idea that animals have the power of speech at midnight on Christmas Eve. This superstition exists in various parts of Europe, and no one can hear the beasts talk with impunity.

There is also a French belief that on Christmas Eve, while the genealogy of Christ is being chanted at the Midnight Mass, hidden treasures are revealed.

In Russia all sorts of buried treasures are supposed to be revealed on the evenings between Christmas and the Epiphany, and on the eves of these festivals the heavens are opened, and the waters of springs and rivers turn into wine.

For our Christmas eve..I am working part of the day...first time in many many years..yet here I am...

But when I get home the ham will have been cooked and glazed (I put it in when I left and Nick is "tending" to it while I work) the danishes sit all pretty and colorful, fruit is ready and sliced and juice is chillin in the fridge..We do breakfast for our big meal and then have ham and goodies to "snack on" later..we watch movies, play video games..and often spend the day in jammies..relaxing and enjoying peaceful and serene..

And always Christmas Eve renews my soul and calms my reminds me of all that is good and all that is right..the reason I have a strong faith and believe that baby borne to Mary and Joseph will be a great leader and will hear my cries and pleads and smile at my joy and laughter..he holds my hand and renews my day with a sunrines...He is good...

Peace and Blessings to All...


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Holiday 2010

Somehow this year just slipped by...2010 was a blur and a year of changes..Nick was the last to graduate from high school and began college in September 2010. Cory came home in June to spend the month with us and we celebrated Nicks graduation, Nick turning 18 and Cory turning 21 with family and friends at a great celebration. Then we went to the coast for a wonderful week with my Mom to relax and spend time laughing and playing. Cory then flew back to Taiwan and went back to teaching a new class of kindergarten kiddos..He loves teaching and I am sure he is very patient and funny!
Nick began at Southwestern Community College in the Fire Science/EMT Program! He was accepted with a small group of kids and moved into his own aprtment with his best friend Keaton. They have been learning all about cooking, cleaning ...OH and learning how to use the washer/dryer at the laundromat (I wish I would have been a bug on the wall for that!)

finished out wrestling with a severe injury of a torn back muscle and lower joint was so tough to watch him continue in a sport that he already took chances at. There were meets I was buried in Jana's coat or holding on to another mom pleading he not get hurt..he had a winning and amazing season and was ranked in the top 7 for his weight class for the State of Oregon, until the end of January..then we took the new outlook of finishing what you start and supporting your team..He finished 6th for NWOC District and was so dissapointed..but he will heal and he will walk, run, play and snowboard...I am OK with that ending :o)

I went to VEGAS in Spetember for 6 days and nights and was amazed at the lights, the sights and the shows! We went to Lion King, The Phantom of the Opera and The Blue Man Group, went to the M&M Store, The Rainforest Cafe and so many other sights including a beautiful dinner in the Eifel Tower. What made it special was that I went with my best friend from high school and my kids godmom Becky! We had found each other on Facebook in July and it was like we had never lost age technology is amazing! I also had my 25th Class reunion and saw so many wonderful people and remember how special friends are even over time!

It was a rough year for our family and friends though and to them we wish the best of peace and love with lots of memories of laughter...Sabrina I know Alfie will forever be apart of your heart and life..Sam, Brad and Maddie we thank you for allowing us to love and laugh with Colton and know we think of you daily and love you guys to pieces...Becky I loved your Dad and I know your heart breaks without him with you but he is there {{Bobbie}} and my precious Andi..I donot know my precious girl if you will ever know how deep your Aunt loves heart is so broken for you but I know you are surrounded by love and support...

Sometimes I dont understand the reason but try to realize there is a bigger plan and we as humans are powerless in so many ways...but the strength I do have is my love and caring for my family and friends. Never take for granted those relationships.. as many of us have felt and witnessed there is no guarantee of every day is a to cherish, love, share and make take the time to make the call, write the letter, or drive to visit, see or spend time with those in your life...I can give testimony on this importance...I do not believe there is ever enough love or time...So my word for 2011 is CHERISH

I cherish you all and cherish my time I have and will spend with my family and friends...let the little things go and remember the bigger picture..

Happy Happy Holidays..I cherish YOU