Still finding me..sucessfully!

Deep breath...so last year at Memorial Day I had a healing journey...one that lead to many tears, smiles and doors closed and the finding of old friends.. And I discovered I am still me...still ok..but ready for new chapters, new experiences and new days... I have begun to live and the sun soaks my bones (when it isnt raining) and my smile is there...I am proud of the journey that continues...secure in who I am, strong in my path and realized all I have no regrets but on learning experiences. It is history learn from it and do not repeat it..but it is all a part of who I am..pain joy sorrow happiness frustration contempaltion fulfillment and loss but it all has been chapters in my story... And so it continues...one day at a time...

Drive...just Drive

The one thing I LOVE about Oregon is I can go from the ocean (coast) to the mountians to the desert in one day...OK a long drive but it can be done!

While on my recent trip I found myself so facinated by the different terrain and the change in weather and the trees and landscaping....I felt I could drive..just drive for hours..ok I did!

This was a drive to remember and find the lost pieces but to also take in all that surrounds me and the beauty of my journey.

I experienced memories and feeling of the sorrow and mourning of losing Bill, the pain and anguish of a divorce and DV relationship...yet the birth of my children, the gift of beautiful friendships and relationships, my strength and belief in God and the true future that lays ahead of me so full of new beginnings was overwhelming...yet I never want to forget where I have been or what I have gone thru. I found it was time to release the pain and feelings of being trapped in sorrow and fear....I needed to start living! The one true jem that Bill left me was my strength and my goodness..he believed in me..and I was beginning to believe in me.

Pain and fear have a great hold on us...yet they limit us and stunt us in growth...I miss Bill every day with all my heart and soul but I cherish all he gave to me and stood by me. We made me promise to never stop living, laughing or being me..somehow that has been set aside as I have grieved and filled with sorrow. We had many talked on my trek across Oregon and I listened to that talk of how he admired me and was amazed at all I had given him and how he had never been "in love" until he met me...Steph...it is time to LOVE you..time to take all you know and all you are and live...this is a journey..

Ohhh look for a Giveaway on Monday! I am attending the Festival of Art this weekend and will find a goodie to share!