Monday, May 30, 2011

In this Little House

This was the house that a community helped build a home...We moved to this little house on a very cold October 20th, 1989 with a wee baby of 5 months. I fell in love with its homemade craftsman style. You could sit on the hardwood floors or stare at the glass door knobs and know it was crafted with local wood and love. The house was built by a mill worker and he was very talented! I loved the space and wood..I hated the no insulation and having to go to the basement to feed the monster wood burner (a coal converted furnace)..but would I ever understand the impact that this house had for 10 yrs and even now 22 yrs later as I returned.

This house reminded me of my time in Harney County. The community and my friends provided wonderful support and structure..they were my base and the reason I fell in love with this area. Yet my marriage was like the unfunctioning furnance and cold without insulation. As warm and cozy as my house looked from the street it was cold inside. One wall has magnificient old glass could see the warm sunlite shine thru but you couldnt see the messy house, unfolded laundry, me in my PJs at 2pm or the tears that ran down my face.

I had a wonderful weekend meeting with friends and smiling, laughing, hugging and much to share! I missed them all so dearly..they warmed my heart and made me smile. They reminded me of the fun and good times, the times where I loved life and loved being a part of this community. I wanted to put 36 hours into one day and stretch out my 3 day weekend into longer. I wanted to hear their voices and laughter over and over...I want them to know how much I dearly miss them and how much I love them for all they have given to me and how I never stopped missing or thinking of them...and how I will never go 12 plus years again without knowing how their week went, what their kids are doing..or how they are doing...Life is too Short and people do grow a part because we get too busy or forget to check in or move away..but isnt there people you just miss so dearly and wonder how they are...After this weekend it reminds me to slow down and take the time because my friends are worth it..people are worth it

I woke up this morning..opened my window and missed the smell of juniper and listening to the wind..and I miss the sound of laughter..until next time I said..just until next time

Friday, May 20, 2011

10 Thoughts on Whole Living

10 Thoughts on Whole Living:

1) Rather than trying to fix your body, focus on how you want it to feel

2) The mark of true confidence is the ability to look someone in the eye!

3) Let the Seasons Guide your diet..the Earth grows what you need when you need it

4) Respect your feet. They have mastered the art of staying grounded while moving forward

5) Take charge of your own reflection. Stop letting the mirror win

6) Enlightenment doesn't always make a grand entrance. It slowly transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary

7) Change happens somehwere between the acceptance of now and the anticipation of whats to come

8) Dont obsess over weight loss, wellness is about making your life bigger, not smaller

9) Suprise yourself, push past your physical limits

10) Nothing connects you to who you are quite like the people who knew you when!

By Terri Trespicio

As I read and re-read this all morning out of my Whole Living magazine I realized these are some of the most powerful and true statements I can apply to my journey! Oh and #4 definately supports a pedicure this weekend!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Going Home

Most people consider going home the city in which they were born or raised..I consider going home to the place I started my family and grew roots..I remember the first day I went into the local grocery store..lost and looking like I was a traveler stopping for supplies on my desert hike. The checker smiles and asks where I am headed to..I replied "Here..we just moved here last night"..HERE she said loudly..."WHY do you have family here?"
You see I had just moved to a very small population yet HUGE land mass of a county 131 miles from any other city..Harney County, OR ..more precise.. Burns, Oregon (look it up on a will see!) I said "No my husband transferred with NAPA and we have a small baby"..still looking puzzled she said "OH"
In this small community I began to grow roots...I raised my child, had a second baby, found a church, a group of friends..and began to realize family isn't always by blood or marriage yet by relationships. My first experience of living in such a community came within 6 mo. of living there, my baby became very ill and Lifeflight was on standby..I remember feeling so alone with family over 5 hours away..I called the minister of the small church we had been attending, that Saturday night, to ask him to put Cory and I on the prayer list..I need as much as we could get! He did more than that..John and Ruth showed up after services the next day and every day after for a week, the congregation brought meals, Grandma Linda and Desi came and held him so I could go home and shower, Elmer and his wife brought a beautiful blanket and prayed with me..the list goes on...and I felt safe..I felt home.
I was apart of the community and volunteered, was a part of the MOMS club, went to football games, all church happenings, supported the schools and worked in the community. We built a family of beautiful friends that were there for good or bad. We had a church that would envelope you in their love and God spirit and I fell in love with each of them. My kids played in the street, down the road, at neighbors and had wonderful Pseudo-Grandparents who my own birth family cherished as they knew their importance in our lives. I had friends that were more like sister that I couldn't breathe without on certain days. We attended weddings, funerals, parties, baby showers, Popsicles in the sun, tears over coffee and dinners when one of us were sick or needed a break.
One Spring I left quickly..into the late afternoon.. with the sun setting I drove out of town..a divorce pending, secrets of a marriage I couldn't share, fearful days and night being left so I could feel safe...and the sickness in my heart of stomach of leaving my community.
How often I would think of moving back..of feeling safe..of my children running in the streets safely laughing with their friends..of growing older with my friends...I had created new friends and was a part of a new community...but somehow over time I have realized I still will always have a part of my heart in Harney County..

And I am going back to visit in 2 weeks..not just a drive thru but a 3 day visit..and I feel like I am going home